The Stash
by gawilliams
Summary: Booth and Bones find some interesting things hidden by the other when moving in together. Rating for chapters 2, 3, and 4.
1. Chapter 1

_I would like to thank my very good friend, tvaddict23, for the idea for this story, which comes in two parts, each having two chapters. The idea for the story was one that I had not considered before, despite my interest in Booth's love of comic books, and my other stories that mention or deal with Bones having, and enjoying, sex toys. I am delighted to be able to try my hand at such a great idea. I hope you enjoy it as much as I will enjoy writing it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**Part One**

_**Booth's Stash**_

Booth was actually giddy as he worked the five combination locks, three key locks, and then the computer controlled retinal scanner on the storage locker he was in front of with Bones. They were moving in together after three months of dating. Now he was about to reveal his big secret to her. He wasn't sure he should, but it was a necessary revelation. He looked over at her as he leaned down to the retinal scanner and saw her roll her eyes.

"Is this what Angela would call overkill, Booth?" Bones asked.

"Bite your tongue, Bones," Booth said, looking at her as if she'd said something sacrilegious.

"Why would I bite my tongue?" she asked, confused.

"It means that _**nothing**_ could be overkill when it comes to what I have in this storage facility," he told her. He relaxed as the flash of the scanner ran over his eye and confirmed his identity. He was always afraid that some glitch would occur and keep him locked out of his unit.

"Valuable art or statuary?" Bones asked curiously.

"Bones, you know me," he said with some exasperation. "Do you really think I'd invest my hard earned dollars on art or statues?"

"Then why have nine separate locking systems in place?" she pressed.

"Because what's in here is my pride and joy, Bones," he explained, placing a strong hand on the handle to open the door.

"I thought I was your pride and joy," she countered, enjoying the chance to banter a bit.

"Okay, you're numero uno and this is number two," he said quickly, hoping to be able to open the damn door soon.

"What about Parker and Pops?" she questioned further.

Booth wanted to scream. Here he was about to enter Boothy Heaven and Bones was delaying the grand entrance. Bones would delay her own walk through the Pearly Gates to her heavenly reward by questioning Saint Peter with all manner of claptrap.

"Okay, you're one, Parker is two, and Pops is three, while what's in here is number four on the pride and joy list," he said in a tone that suggested that banter time was over, but he wasn't rude about it. He offered a silent apology to the contents of the storage locker for being placed so low on the list, but he wanted to retain his working parts for the rest of his life, so sacrifices had to be made. He'd confess the sin later on at confession. He was willing to predict that Father Mitch was going to laugh his ass off on this one. "Now may we please enter Boothy Heaven?" he pleaded, not realizing what he'd just said.

Bones raised a brow. "_Boothy Heaven?_" she asked. She was laughing hilariously in her mind over his description of the storage unit.

Booth's head dropped and he mentally screamed. He looked up at her and saw she was highly amused. That never boded well when he was the one who amused her like that. "Okay, Bones, what'll it take to get you to _never_, and I mean _**never**_, mention what I call this place?" he asked.

"I get to drive the SUV and control the siren for one week," she told him instantly, never one to waste a perfect opportunity.

Booth began to grind his teeth, but he had no choice. He caved. No one could ever know what he called his shrine. "Deal," he said with deep reluctance. "Now may we please enter?"

"Of course," she said with a small smile. "I don't know why you've just been standing here without opening the door."

Deciding not to scream and rant, he pulled the thick door open. The light sensors inside instantly turned on and he ushered Bones in. He smiled widely when he entered and swept his gaze throughout the entire inside, loving and cooing over the contents.

"Comic books?" Bones asked incredulously. "You go to all that expense and trouble to protect comic books?"

Booth's jaw about hit the floor. "_**GRAPHIC NOVELS!**_" he said firmly. He swept his gaze back to his beloved collection. "Sorry guys, she's simply uneducated in the finer things in life," he said out loud to the, ahem, _**graphic novels**_.

"You're anthropomorphizing your comic books?" she questioned, beginning to fear for his sanity.

"You anthro, uh, whatever, your plants," he gamely argued.

"Anthropomorphizing, and plants are living creatures, Booth, not inanimate objects like these pieces of paper," she said firmly.

"These are not just any _pieces of paper_ Bones," he told her. "This is a collection of all 511 graphic novels that make up the Green Lantern collection. I even have the original graphic novel, _All_-_American_ _Comics #16_, that Green Lantern appeared in. All of these babies are in mint condition with their own individual plastic sleeves."

It was right then that her eyes spotted something that she was hard pressed to admit she had not even noticed upon entering. All the comics were on angled open shelving with the front covers facing outward. That was something in itself, and she had to admit that he had obviously put a lot of work into this. What she now noticed, though, was what was on a stand in the middle of the unit. A Beer Hat. Her eyes narrowed.

"You have another one of those ridiculous things," she asked.

"This thing is the very first beer hat I ever made," he said with pride, choosing to ignore her usual loathing of the Beer Hat. He would never understand how someone who made a science of being practical and logical could not like something so eminently practical and useful.

She looked closer and her eyes widened in shock. "You had it _**bronzed**_?"

"Yep!" he said with obvious delight. "Now, since we are sharing your home office and you said I could add a few nick knacks of my own in there on the shelves, I feel that we should add a bit of culture to the place and add this incredible collection here. The beer hat, of course, can be in a place of honor on the corner of my desk."

"No," she said firmly and began to walk out.

Booth smiled. He knew she was going to say that, and he had a plan. Now it was his turn to turn the tables. He looked back at his collection. "Don't worry, Boys, I have it covered. You'll be in your new home by the end of the week," he said as he made his way out of Boothy Heaven and hightailed it after a very agitated Bones. Life was good, and knowing that he'd have his stash where he could have access every evening for a good read before bed was the best part.

_A/N: There's chapter one. It basically sets up the whole story and allows me to move into the next scenario easily. I hope you have all enjoyed this one. Once again I must thank tvaddict23 for the excellent idea and her request that I write the story. Gregg._


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you for all the reviews and alerts that the first chapter garnered. I must once again thank tvaddict23 for coming up with the idea that got this story started. It is a pleasure, as always, to be able to write a fun story about our two favorite characters. I hope you enjoy this new chapter. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

_**Naughty Little Boy's Stash**_

After gamely pleading the case of Boothy Heaven making a move to their home, and Bones becoming increasingly opposed, with an especially negative emphasis on the bronzed original Beer Hat, Booth was in a good mood as they worked on clearing out some more stuff from his apartment. For now, and likely the next year or so, they would be living in her apartment, and then they would look into buying a home. He had no illusions about who would likely be paying the lion's share of that, as Bones was not one to take out a mortgage or anything sensible like that, so cash on the barrel head was the name of the game. He was over the whole pride issue on money, but something rankled him about her shelling out what would likely be a million or more dollars for a good sized home while he would be looking on and shaking his head about how little he had compared to her.

For the moment, though, he was merrily boxing up all his sports pictures and paraphernalia so that he would have it ready to have at strategic locations in the apartment. Bones had caved quite easily on the sports stuff, so he was a bit worried, naturally, about what she may be up to.

"_Seeley Joseph Booth!_"

Oops. He knew that tone, and when she added in the dreaded full name he knew he was in deep doo doo.

"Yes, Bones?" he asked, keeping it kind of formal, yet at the same time staying put.

"_Get_. _In_. _Here_. _**Now!**_"

Okay. Now that was a direct _**I will be obeyed, or else**_ command if he'd ever heard one. Not wanting Junior and the Boys to be fearing for their ever loving lives, he walked back to his bedroom where he had supposed that she'd been getting his clothes together. Rounding the corner he almost had a heart attack when he saw that she had discovered his stash. No, not his Boothy Heaven stash, or anything related. No. It was his Naughty Stash. Yep. You guessed it. Porn. Seeley Booth, FBI Special Agent, Catholic Poster Boy, Knight in shining armor had a secret porn stash. He gulped nervously while Junior and the Boys prepared to kiss this earthly existence goodbye. You see, Bones, who loved sex and sexuality, hated porn. Despised it. Thought it degraded women. Kind of odd in his opinion considering that the woman had an illustrated 19th century copy of the _Kama Sutra_, but there you have it. And she had just now discovered that her boyfriend had a porn stash.

"Need any help, Bones?" he asked, trying desperately to feign innocence.

"What is all this?" she demanded, waving her arm over the magazines and two porno DVD's.

He shrugged and gave a half-hearted chuckle. "A little light reading and some training DVD's?" he tried.

She picked up one of the magazines and the two DVD cases. "Light reading? _Penthouse_? Training DVD's? _Miami Spice I & II_? Try again, Booth," she said tapping her foot on the floor. "And I thought Miami Spice was a show on TV, not a pornographic film."

"Miami _Vice_ was the show, Bones, not Miami _Spice_," he mumbled.

Bones looked at Booth and while she was willing to be kind, he was a guy after all, she was not too pleased. She had never appreciated porn, and while she was aware of the anthropological elements of the debate, she generally was not swayed by it. The idea that Booth viewed such things was a shock to her, even though she shouldn't be.

"I may be willing to overlook this in terms of before we were together, but what I don't understand is why you have such _material _now that we are together," she pressed. "Are you having some difficulty getting aroused by me?"

Booth looked at her as if she was crazy. "Hell no!" he declared firmly. Even if it wasn't true, which it was, he would never admit such a thing. Bones would hack off his doings and make him watch as she put them through a shredder.

"Then why do you have these still?" she asked.

"The articles?" he tried one last time with the old tried and true excuse.

"Oh, you mean this interesting one called _Poke _**HER**_ Party Hostess_?" she questioned, having opened one Penthouse to a letters section, anticipating his juvenile response.

"Now hold on, Bones, you write smut scenes, too, you know," he protested, grabbing on to the one thing that may save his ass.

She raised a brow. "I write erotic scenes between characters who are in mutually satisfying sexual relationships with each other, or characters who need to have a release from the tensions of the work they do," she pointed out. "I do _**not **_write gratuitous porn."

"Page 187 ring a bell, Bones?" he shot back, doing his damnedest to mitigate this as much as possible. Truth be told, he'd planned on getting rid of the things, except for the movies, once they got together, but he'd been so caught up in the virtually non-stop sex fest that he'd completely forgotten to do so.

"Blame Angela and Hodgins for that one," she defended.

Booth sighed. She was so damn smart that she had an answer for everything, and what's worse was that her answers were halfway reasonable.

"Okay, truth?" he asked.

"That would be nice," she replied, waiting to hear this one.

He explained about the fact that except for Hannah he had not really been with anyone since Cam, carefully not mentioning the Catherine the Marine Biologist he'd briefly dated the year before seeing as Bones had made it clear that the subject of her was a no no. As such, he'd needed a bit of help on some of those lonely nights, especially when she had been dating some guy, though he carefully pointed out he knew she had not been with anyone since the two boyfriends, but he'd still been lonely. Naturally being a healthy adult male he'd needed a bit of a kick start to any, ahem, solo activities, and the magazines helped. He also didn't mention all the times his priest had called him a pervert over such items in his possession and his _activities_ and _thoughts_. As it was he'd been spending some serious time in Purgatory, so he didn't dare add to his humiliation by making Bones laugh her ass off over his religious punishment.

"Well that explains the magazines, which I am willing to accept," she said as she tossed the offending magazines in the garbage bag she had at her side. "But what about the movies?"

Now Booth looked a bit sheepish, and a slight reddening of his cheeks became very prominent. He wasn't embarrassed by porn, but his reason for liking, and keeping, those two movies, was somewhat embarrassing for him.

"Each film has a line, different in each film, that drives me wild, the first one because of the setting, and the second one because it is kind of an interrogation," he admitted.

Bones got an evil glint in her eyes. "And just what were those lines?" she asked.

Booth wanted to crawl into a hole and die. But he was not going to let her have the upper hand. She'd drove him nuts with all her sex talk in the SUV and other inappropriate places over the years, so he was going to show her that he could dish it out, too.

"In the first one the actor Randy West takes out his cock and strokes it in front of his date and says _there it is, it's lean, it's mean, a damn love machine_," he told her. "Needless to say it was a totally hot sex scene with him having her right at the outdoor dinner table next to the pool."

Bones couldn't help getting somewhat hot over such a scene, though she wouldn't imagine Booth referring to his very impressive cock as lean. No, it was a very healthy _long and thick_ love machine in her opinion.

"And the second movie?" she asked, her breathing becoming slightly heavier.

Booth sighed. "Amber Lynn confronts a dirty cop and tells him if he confesses she'll have sex with him, and to temp him she flashes her pussy," he tells her. "But then the guy reaches for her and she closes her legs and says in a damn sexy voice _no talking no pussy_. It drives me wild every time I hear it."

Bones closed her eyes and then opened them, pinning him with a stare. "Get the things we've already boxed up," she ordered. "We're going home. I've got plans for you."

He watched as she strode out of the bedroom, the films in hand, her ass sashaying from side to side. Then she turned and said something that almost made him explode right then.

"No work, no pussy, Booth," she smiled wickedly, and then left the apartment to wait for him in the SUV. Tonight was going to be fun!

_A/N: I am keeping the chapters an approximate length and I am adding one more chapter to this story so that I can continue this segment to see what she does with him at _**their **_apartment. Don't worry. By the end of the story things will even out between them. I hope you enjoyed this one. Gregg._


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you for the extremely generous response to _Forging Ahead_, as well as the continued interest in this story. I am also amazed, and thoroughly overwhelmed, at the incredible response to _Pregnancy?_ I hope that this chapter comes close to what you are hoping for given the previous two chapters to this story. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth was really sweating bullets as he waited for Bones to come out of their bedroom. She'd made it clear that he wasn't to come in under any circumstances or he could kiss sex goodbye for a while. Junior had put in his two cents worth and took over the thinking department for the evening, so Booth was on the couch trying to concentrate on the hockey game, though that was a dead loss from the start. Looking up at the clock he saw that she'd been in there for almost two hours already. What the hell was she doing in there? He was also worried about the fate of the only two porno films he'd ever liked. He could imagine her doing all sorts of cruel things to the discs. But then there were those five lovely words she uttered as she left his bedroom back at his apartment.

"_No work, no pussy, Booth_."

He'd almost exploded in his pants when she said that. Needless to say he worked like a crazed fiend getting all the boxes in the SUV while she waited patiently for him to be ready to head back to their place for more _**enjoyable**_ activities. But they'd been there for two hours already and Bones, a necessary part of any _**extracurricular**_ activities, had yet to come out of the damn bedroom. What the Hell was she doing in there? Plotting a painful demise for him since he'd inadvertently forgotten to get rid of his stash of porn? Sure he knew her basic views on the subject, and he'd gotten to wound up in the sex fest for the last few months, but come on? One lousy mistake and he was toast? So not fair!

"_Freeze, soil bag!_"

Booth about soiled_ himself_ he was so startled, and then he looked and saw Bones with a water pistol pointed at him. He laughed.

"It's dirt bag, Bones," he corrected her, amused at the whole things. Then he took in her attire. He raised a brow while Junior cheered his hearty approval.

There in front of him was a scantily clad Bones. Dark blue bustier which showed off her awesome boobs to perfection, with a generous amount of cleavage on display. The panties she wore were a deep, dark blue sheer variety, as well as the garter belt and stockings she was wearing. The high heels were also the same color. The he noticed the toy FBI badge that Parker had left here the previous weekend. Clipped right next to them was a pair of handcuffs.

"All right, Dirt Bag, since you obviously didn't want to cooperate, I've been sent in to get the information," she said, a smirk on her lips as she looked Booth up and down. He always turned her on, clothed or unclothed.

Booths jaw about came unhinged. She was role playing! And not just any role playing either. It was sexy cop, scum bag criminal night! They didn't do much role playing as they were so into just ripping each other's clothes off and getting right down to it at this phase of the relationship, but when they had she'd shown him that quality role playing, as opposed to that sick shit those pony play nuts were doing, was totally awesome!

"Make me," he replied with a smirk of his own.

"Up!" she commanded in a stern, no nonsense voice. When Booth slowly stood up she went right over and yanked down his sweat pants and boxers, a bit roughly, but not enough to hurt him.

"Hey!" he said indignantly, just like any other criminal would do if he didn't know what was coming. Who knows? Maybe some psychotic con named Bubba was slated to make a visit? He was surprised, though when she went behind him and cuffed his hands together and sat him down, gently to be sure, and stood in front of him eying the goods with a wicked gleam. He gulped while Junior stood tall and proud, eagerly awaiting_** his**_ role to begin. Senior was just a teensy bit apprehensive given that his hands were cuffed behind his back.

"You know you're going to talk," she said as she slid to her knees in front of him. "So you might as well save yourself the trouble right now and confess."

"I'll just wait and lawyer up, Agent Bones," he said, _ad libbing_ a bit himself.

"Oh, I don't think it will take that long," she said as she swiftly took out a small pair of cuffs and clamped it around his hard on, one finger in the other cuff pulling back. Not enough to cause any damage, just a slight pressure on his cock.

"Hey!" Booth looked down incredulously, and giving Junior a very quick, but thorough look to make sure he was still in working order. Messing with Junior and the Boys was not supposed to be like this!

"You see, I have a secret weapon," Bones said as she slipped the head of his cock in her mouth, letting her tongue swirl around the head, paying attention to the cluster of nerves at the base of the glans.

Booth's head fell back and he groaned. Bones was the master at giving a teasing blow job, and he was beginning to think that maybe he should invest in several stashes of movies of a pornographic nature that she could find if this kind of result would occur. Then he thought of the cock cuffs and decided against that course of action. It was apparent that she had watched at least the first Miami Spice film and was ad libbing from the pool scene where a blissfully unaware Randy West had been getting an all over tan and was surprised by Amber Lynn and Sherri St. Claire. Modern porno films didn't appeal to him and if she _ad libbed_ off of films he may not be as lucky as this time.

"And if this isn't enough of an inducement to talk, then I always have a girls most effective weapon," she teased as she took him from her mouth and licked her tongue up and down the sides of his cock, her eyes locked with his enjoying his changing facial expressions.

"Huh?" Booth looked at her, confused. Junior was also screaming at him to shut up and let her get back to the good stuff.

"Pussy, Booth," Bones said, a very wicked smile on her face as she stood up sliding the cock cuffs off him as she did so. She quickly pulled aside her panties as she straddled him, placing his cock in position as she slid down. "Nothing is more effective that a hot, tight, sweet little pussy," she whispered in a breathy moan as she began to slide up and down his shaft, clenching on each upstroke with her powerful inner muscles.

Booth was approaching a near state of Nirvana as he watched Bones slide up and down Junior. The feelings and sensations she was creating had him panting, and the lack of ability to have purchase and add anything from his end only added to the sexy, naughty feel of it all. He loved the sight of lust, intermingled with love in her eyes, and when she threw her head back while having a small orgasm was a true sight to behold. Almost at the same time he exploded inside of her, shouting her name as he came, and then slumped back, her falling on top of him, both panting breathlessly.

"No more stashes porn, I swear," he said as he caught on to what she'd been playing sexy interrogator about.

She chuckled. "See? I told you you'd break before you lawyered up," she said. "Never underestimate the power of pussy, Booth."

He laughed. "Just wait until you uncuff my hands and I've had a little rest," he told her. "I'll show you what my lean, mean, love machine can really do."

"I can hardly wait," she murmured, a smile on her face as she let her head rest on his sweating chest. "And it'd definitely not lean, Booth."

"No?" he asked.

"Nope," she said. "It's long, and thick. _Just_ the way a love machine should be."

_A/N: Next up Booth finds a secret stash of Bones'. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Gregg._


	4. Chapter 4

_Well, now we come to the part where Booth finally finds some bargaining chips of his own in his quest to get Boothy Heaven moved into their apartment. I hope you enjoy this one. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

_**Part Two**_

_**Bones' Stash**_

Booth was having a horrible morning. He'd been late getting into the office, thanks to an extra long wake up sex session with Bones, and Cullen had been on his ass from the start. Then he found out that he'd forgotten some old paperwork (which for some unknown reason was now causing the lack of its presence at the Hoover to give Caroline an apoplectic stroke) that he had in his seldom used attache case, which was in their bedroom closet, so he was now searching like made in the closet for the damn case and the missing paperwork. That's when he found it. And that's when the sun began to shine on the fortunes of Boothy Heaven. Bones had a stash!

Booth pulled the large, nondescript box out of the closet (all the while wondering why the Hell he'd never noticed it before) and placed it on the bed. Opening it he almost had a stroke himself, and then a smile crossed his lips. Yep. Bones had a massive secret stash of sex toys! Now before we make assumptions, he knew that she had one or two insignificant toys, like the small rabbit vibrator in the top drawer of her bedside dresser, but this was a stash of unequaled proportions!

He began pulling out various items. There were any number of bottles of different kinds of lubricants, an assortment of vibrators of varying sizes, ten different dildos of varying sizes (one of which scared the crap out of him it was so damn big), several slender boxes of edible panties, various kinds of bindings (including some that were of the fuzzy leopard skin variety), some kind of butterfly looking contraption that had a remote control with it, and last, but certainly not least, _**HIS**_ two missing DVD's. He'd been wondering what had happened to those, but she'd been so focused on turning him into a totally exhausted slab of meat he hadn't really cared enough to ask. She'd added it to **_HER_** stash.

Looking at his watch he saw that he needed to hightail it back to work so he put all the stuff back and then dove back in and found the attache case and the missing paperwork. He left the apartment with a wide smile, very much looking forward to that evening. Let the games begin!

That evening Booth got home before Bones was was making dinner when she got there. He'd been planning on how to take advantage of what he'd found that morning in the closet. Part of him was a bit bent out of shape because of the same reason she'd been slightly peeved at him over the magazines still being around. If she had him to take care of business (and so well, too, if he did say so himself) then what the Hell does she need all that stuff for? So now he had a surprise waiting for her on the bed.

"Hi, Booth," Bones said as she gave him a kiss when she walked in and came over to see what he was cooking. "You're cooking vegetarian? What's the occasion?"

Booth grinned. "Oh, I had a good day, Bones, and the night is only going to get better," he said in a sexy voice. "Changed your mind yet on Boothy Heaven?"

Bones scowled. "No," she said firmly. "I'm going to go change into something comfortable. I'll be right back."

Booth mentally counted down from ten, knowing that he would have an immediate reaction from her, and he wasn't sure if it would be good or bad. He was hoping for a bit of a debate as it would give him some ammunition on Boothy Heaven.

"I see you've been busy," Bones said as she came back into the kitchen a few moments later, not giving Booth the explosive reaction she was sure he had been expecting.

Booth gawped at her. She had not even batted an eyelash when she entered the room, and his mental countdown had long run its course. Something wasn't right, and he was not so sure about his plan anymore.

"Huh?" he asked, not sure what she was getting at exactly.

"Someone's been in my toy box and left a mess on the bed," she told him. "You know all you had to do was tell me you needed a bit of added stimulation to make yourself orgasm and I would have loaned you some of my toys." She pressed in close. "I would have even helped you use them on yourself," she added in a very husky tone.

"Bones, that makes me just wanna hurl," Booth said with a shudder as he thought of that massive dildo entering orifices it had no business entering.

Bones chuckled as she moved away from him to get a glass of wine, but not before patting him on his perfect ass. She could never resist when it was so close and practically calling out to her.

"I assume you're interested in why I have a collection of sex toys," she observed.

Booth dished up two plates of the spinach pasta he'd prepared and brought it over to the table. He sat down across from her and poured himself a glass of wine.

"Now that you mention it, I was kind of curious considering you now have me to take care of your urges," he gave her a smirk. "After all, I got in trouble for having my stash of magazines and two movies."

"Have you ever watched a woman using a sex toy?" she asked. "Live, as opposed to a movie?"

"Uh, no," he replied, not sure if he wanted to continue the conversation. She already seemed to have the upper hand.

"When a man masturbates, he is able to simulate a woman's sexual organ or even her mouth, to a fair degree with his hand and some lubricant," she told him. "It is very different for a woman to simulate the actual sexual act, thus a toy is a needed implement to be truly successful. Her fingers simply are not comparable. A well shaped dildo is a nice substitute, and it has the added benefit of not being pornography, at least in my opinion."

"But Bones, you've got me now," he said, already knowing he was going to end up blushing to beat all Hell.

"Are you saying that you no longer masturbate?" she asked.

Oh, yeah. There it was. The one question guaranteed to make him blush and he did so on cue. He tried to speak and only managed to splutter.

"I thought so," she said with a satisfied smirk. "I will make you a deal, though."

"Oh?" he raised a brow, now able to say a one syllable word.

An evil smile crossed her lips. "I challenge you to watch me pleasure myself with my toys and if afterwards you say you are uncomfortable with me having them, I will, albeit reluctantly, part with them," she offered. "If you like what you see, I get to keep them, and as a bonus I will agree to you moving your collection of comics into our office. The bronzed beer hat, though, must stay in storage."

It didn't take a genius to see the upside of such a bargain, so Booth did the responsible, manly thing. "Deal!" he said as he stuck out his hand which Bones shook, both of them smiling at each other. Tonight was going to be a fun night.

_A/N: I decided to do the toy show as it's own chapter. Now that we have four chapters down, there are only two left. I hope you're enjoying this one as much as I have been writing it. Gregg._


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry about the delay in getting this chapter out, but I was having trouble getting it just the way I had seen it in my mind, so there were several rewrites. My apologies to my friend tvaddict23 who asked me to write this story, as I had hoped to have a better pace for it. I hope the wait for this chapter was worth it, Helen. Thank you to everyone who has read and enjoyed this story so far. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Bones led Booth back to their bedroom where she had a selection of toys already laid out as she'd planned this little deal when she had found her _**toys**_ laid out haphazardly on the bed earlier. She brought Booth over to the bed and turned to face him.

"Which one should I use for your show?" she asked, a wicked smile on her face.

Booth looked down and blanched at one. "Definitely not this one, Bones," he said, pointing out the monstrous dildo he'd seen earlier. "I have no desire to feel inadequate because of a piece of silicone."

Bones chuckled. She held up the large phallus. "I've never actually used this one," she admitted. "It was a joke gift at a party I attended once." She paused, giving a leering look at the slight bulge in his pants. Obviously the _**competition**_ had caused him to wilt a bit. "I wouldn't worry about the competition, Booth. _**Nothing**_ compares to the real thing."

Booth breathed a mental sigh of relief. For the life of him, despite knowing how babies came into this world, he had no clue how something so massive could fit inside a woman _**down there**_. He cursed, a bit upset at himself that he couldn't even talk dirty to himself in his own mind unless he was dreaming. Or in the moment with Bones, that is. He could always bring on the dirty talk when it was with her in bed. He wondered if he would be able to do so when he was watching Bones _**play**_. All he knew was he had to survive this and not go nuts. Boothy Heaven was on the line here!

"So, which one? Or would you like to see me play with more than one?" she teased.

"Oh, one should do," Booth said, a crack in his voice as he looked over the display. He pointed to an average looking one, not too long or thick. No feelings of inadequacy there!

"Ooh, my favorite one," she said, a sexy, husky purr in her voice.

"Favorite?" he croaked.

She nodded. "I bought it just after I met you and use it all the time," she told him. "I call it _**Booth**_."

He swallowed hard. She named a _**sex toy**_ after him? He prayed that she had never told Angela about that little detail! He'd never hear the end of it. "Booth?" he asked, this time a nervous squeak. He could feel Boothy Heaven slipping away.

Her eyes flashed. "Your namesake has given me the most fabulous orgasms over the years," she told him. "Now take a seat over there and get comfortable," she instructed. "The show is about to begin."

He quickly got comfortable on the plush easy chair that was across from the foot of the bed and riveted his eyes squarely on Bones, who was putting away the other toys. Then she turned to face him, that wicked, yet infinitely sexy grin on her face. He knew that look well, and it usually meant that he was in deep trouble, but it was a damn fun way to go.

Bones worked her way around the room, turning the lights to a low dim, and turned on some slow, sensual music. It was so cliché when all she was doing was bringing herself to orgasm, but somehow the idea that Booth would be watching her made it more intimate and sensual. Standing in front of the foot of the bed, she began to very slowly remove her clothes, keeping her eyes focused on him, watching to see his reactions. The sight of the bulge in his pants growing was particularly enticing, but she kept herself from moving over and having her way with him. She grinned when she heard him groan as she turned around and pulled her pants and panties off, giving him a view of her bare backside which she knew full well he loved. Without turning to face him, and the no doubt longing look on his face, the hunger she knew he felt, she worked her way to the head of the bed and got onto it, her back against the headboard, her legs outstretched.

"Feeling a bit hungry, Booth?" she asked teasingly, spreading her legs just enough to give him a tantalizing glimpse of her pussy, the labia swollen in arousal. Just as he got very aroused by her, she always was aroused with him near.

"Starving, Bones," he managed to get out, his pants feeling very tight right then. He'd love nothing more than to release Junior, but if he did he knew that he would not be able to resist giving himself a little relief. That would doom Boothy Heaven before it even had a chance. That would not do.

"You can remove your pants, Booth," Bones smirked as she picked up the dildo and lightly stroked it, mimicking the same actions she used when enjoying the feel of the real Booth.

"That's okay, Bones," he groaned. "I'm just fine like this."

"Are you sure you want to watch me instead of pleasuring me yourself?" she asked, still teasing as she used her left hand to caress her left breast, teasing the nipple with her thumb and forefinger.

"I'm sure," Booth said, his voice a bit huskier than normal. His eyes were taking in the scene before him and he silently apologized to Boothy Heaven in advance if he failed on his side of the agreement.

Bones reached down and ran her fingers through her folds, gathering a small amount of the moisture pooling there and giving her clit some stimulation. She moaned at the delicious feelings it brought on, and dipped a finger inside of herself, loving the small intrusion, wanting more. She added a second finger and groaned deeply, closing her eyes briefly as she did so.

Booth was definitely no prude, and he hoped that his lovemaking skills had proven that to Bones in the time they'd been together, so he was definitely enjoying the show. Junior was, too, but was letting it be known that he wasn't too thrilled at the non-interference aspect of the display. A few beads of sweat were forming on Booth's forehead, and he recalled a scene in _Miami Spice_ where Randy West said _**I wanna see a lot of pink**_, and he couldn't help comparing his present mood to that line. Just as he thought it couldn't get any better he saw Bones using her middle and forefinger to ply open her folds, showing him what he'd been thinking of. All that glistening pink flesh just there for his enjoyment. He managed a slight whimper at the injustice of it all when he imagined what he could be doing right then.

"Enjoying the view?" Bones teased further, letting her fingers slide from her tight sheath, and moving to grasp the dildo. "Are you ready to see _**Booth**_ in action?" she goaded him.

"I'd rather it be the real deal, Bones," he grumbled, his mood deepening as he wanted nothing more than to take charge. He was about to lose it at that point.

"Mmm, so would I," she husked. "But I also want to win out little argument, so this will have to do."

Booth settled down on that. He wanted to win the argument, too. If he was in deep shit about his small porn stash, then she should be in trouble with her little toy stash. Right? Junior and the Boys sure thought so, and they were the ones seriously suffering here.

Bones put a little lube on the dildo and brought it down to her folds, letting the end of the phallus rub along the length of her slit, adding a bit of pressure when it reached her clit. She always loved it when a lover teased her sex, and she made sure she did it to herself when she used her toys. Letting _**Booth**_ glide down her folds she pressed in when it reached her opening, feeling it stretch her nicely. Not as well as the real Booth, she now was well aware, but very nicely anyway. She began a slow in and out motion, feeling the friction building despite the lubricant. Just enough to give her a nice, warm, excited feeling inside, and for her own natural lubrication to build even further. The sounds emanating from her actions filled the room, and she fluttered open her eyes and saw that Booth was beginning to squirm a bit. Smiling, she went back to work on herself.

Booth's jaw was about on the floor as he watched the show before him playing out. Like any guy the female anatomy fascinated him, in a sexual, primal way, and the first hand view was totally awesome. As Bones was a woman who took care of her pleasure just as seriously as she worked on the bones in their cases, he knew that he was watching a very practiced, and deliberate show. One that would be bringing her a great deal of pleasure. If the slight flush on her cheeks and breasts was any indication, she would soon be screaming in pleasure. He leaned forward in the chair almost unconsciously, getting into this a bit too much. His mind was shutting down, though, and Junior was taking over. Damn! He could hear Boothy Heaven screaming at him in protest, to no avail.

Bones kept up the pace, and let her free hand slip down and begin tantalizingly rubbing and pressing on her clit in slow circles, adding exponentially to her pleasure build up. She could just feel the ridge on the head of the fake cock rubbing along her g-spot, further enhancing her enjoyment. Damn! She could feel an orgasm coming on and Booth had yet to make a move that would allow her to win. She slowed slightly, trying to lengthen this session.

Booth's eyes snapped up to the pleasure enhanced grin on her face. The second she slowed down he was a goner. He jumped up, ripped off his clothes and bounded over to the bed, grabbing, and carefully removing Booth, and the damn thing with his own fingers, shocked at how wet she was.

"You win," he said breathlessly. That was too damn hot for words. Now let the real thing finish this off for you!"

Bones smiled in breathless wonder as Booth slid on top of her and thrust into her hard and deep. The feel was magnificent, and she moaned deeply in pure excitement and pleasure. Wrapping her legs around the small of his back, she matched him thrust for thrust, encouraging him through deliberate whispers in his ear and she felt her orgasm come crashing down, exploding as she clenched and unclenched around him powerfully. She screamed his name in his ear, not caring right then if he would be able to hear anything afterwards.

Booth exploded with her, shooting deep inside her as he felt her fluttering tightly around him. He was damn sure that for as long as he lived nothing would feel as incredible as Bones falling apart around him, and he letting loose at the same time.

He rolled off of her and laid back, panting. She was laying beside him, also trying to catch her breath. Both were exhausted from the sheer excitement of what they'd just done, despite the session being as short as it was.

"I've got a compromise for you," she said when she could finally talk again.

Booth's ears picked up on that. "Oh?" he asked.

"Boothy Heaven can come into the library if you can fit it onto two walls," she told him. "In return, I will let you keep the two movies, and also get rid of most of my toys. How does that sound?"

"And the Beer Hat?" he asked.

"The bronzed beer had must stay out of sight, but may be in the apartment," she conceded.

"Then I'll compromise, too, Bones," he said, a grin on his face. "You can keep all but that hideous monstrosity in your toy collection. I'd like some more shows sometime."

Bones chuckled. "You're such a man, Booth," she said, using a colloquial stereotype, but felt it appropriate on this occasion.

"You better believe it, Baby," he said with obvious delight. This night had turned out a whole lot better than he'd expected, and the best part of all was that Boothy Heaven was safe and had a new home!

_A/N: There will be a short epilogue to this one and I will be posting it next week when I have recovered from a procedure I am having done today. I hope you enjoyed this one. Further chapters of _Pregnant?_ will also be posted when I am back in the land of fanfiction next week. Thank you all for your continued interest in my stories. Gregg._


	6. Chapter 6

_Thank you for all the support and interest in this story. I decided some time ago that I would be doing a short epilogue, and this is it. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Bones sat down behind her desk at the Jeffersonian. She sighed. Booth had finally moved in fully, and life was very good. Much to her surprise his collection of Green Lantern comics had been made to fit on the two fair sized walls that she had conceded to him in the study at home. It hadn't been the monstrous eyesore that she had dreaded that it would be. Thankfully he had not put up much resistance on her very principled stance on that ridiculous bronzed beer hat. All he'd asked was that she have a picture of it with the two of them taken. Not really knowing what he had intended, she had agreed, knowing that the thing would not be present in the apartment. A warm tingle ran through her as she let herself bask in the knowledge that she was now living with Booth.

Once she had let the warm glow infuse her with a renewed energy she booted up her laptop and entered her password. What she saw made her scream in outrage. Angela came rushing into the office to see what was wrong.

"Sweetie!" she said rushing over to her best friend.

"Look at that!" Bones said angrily, pointing at the screen.

"Well, that's interesting," Angela said, a raised brow at the image.

"I'll kill him!" Bones said loudly.

There on the screen of her computer her usual background had been removed and in its place was a picture of her and Booth with that damn bronzed beer hat! The two of them were actually smiling! She had only been smiling because she knew that the thing wouldn't be anywhere near their apartment!

"What is that?" Angela asked curiously.

"His original beer hat," Bones replied, a groan of frustration escaping. "He had the damn thing bronzed."

Before Angela could say anything Bones' e-mail alert pinged. Angela slipped away, not really wanting to be around when Studly no doubt showed up and Bren slaughtered him. She couldn't wait to tell Hodgins about the courageous joke that Booth had played on Bren. They'd be laughing over this one for a long time.

Bones opened the e-mail and read the quick note. Her anger rose even higher.

_Bones. _

_Just thought you might like a bit of variety on your background. I loaded up your favorite picture and had a friend lock it in place for a month so you can have time to get the full effect. Well, gotta go. Meetings this morning and training at the range this afternoon. See you at home! Love ya. _

_Booth._

Bones was beyond livid. She'd made a perfectly reasonable compromise and he had just added a small little detail on the sly. She wrote up a quick note and sent it to him.

_Booth._

_Be afraid. _**Very**_ afraid. I hope you enjoy sleeping on the couch._

_Bones._

Ten minutes later Booth checked his e-mails and read her note. He smiled widely. His back may not be pleased in the next day or so, but he had finally found a way to preserve the sanctity of the Beer Hat. Today was a good day. He'd make it up to Bones over the weekend. For now, he was going to bask in the afterglow of victory. Long live the all important Beer Hat and his stash, better known as Boothy Heaven.

_A/N: Well, there it is. Booth got a small bit of revenge over the Beer Hat issue, and Bones gets to wonder about the benefit of compromising. I hope you enjoyed it. Gregg._


End file.
